Change

Change

Everyone knows that life is full of change.

And yet, one of the quickest paths to frustration and unhappiness is resisting it.

We've all heard the saying, "The only constant is change."

It's true.

But accepting that change is inevitable doesn't necessarily make change easy.

Especially at work.

As leaders, we sometimes forget that just because we're ready for a change doesn't mean everyone else is.

And I wonder if that's where some change initiatives begin to go wrong.

We expect other people to be at the same developmental level, have the same understanding, or feel the same excitement about the change that we do.

They're not.

And that's okay.

Our job as leaders isn't to make everyone feel exactly the way we do.

It's to understand where they are and help them move forward.

There are countless books, courses, models, and strategies designed to help organizations manage change.

They're valuable.

But change is also incredibly individual.

What works beautifully in one organization may completely miss the mark in another.

Just because a book tells us we should follow a particular five-step process doesn't mean we should blindly force every situation into that model.

Sometimes we have to put down the playbook and pay attention to the people in front of us.

One of the most important things we can do early in a change initiative is assess readiness.

Before we start telling people why they need to change, I wonder what might happen if we first got curious about how they feel about it.

What are they concerned about?

What are they afraid of losing?

How attached are they to the current way of doing things?

What questions haven't they asked yet?

And perhaps most importantly:

What would they need from us to feel supported through this?

For a small team, that might mean sitting down individually with each person and having an honest conversation.

For a larger organization, it might mean creating opportunities for anonymous questions after a town hall or providing another way for people to express concerns that they may not feel comfortable sharing publicly.

The method can change.

The principle doesn't.

Get curious before you try to convince.

Once we understand where people are, we can begin setting expectations.

This is where I think leaders sometimes make a well-intentioned mistake.

We want people to feel good about the change, so we soften the message.

"We'll work through this together."

"It shouldn't affect your day-to-day too much."

"It won't be that difficult."

The problem is what happens when reality doesn't match the message.

People may feel better in the moment, but when they discover that the change is actually difficult, trust begins to erode.

Sometimes the most supportive thing we can do is tell the truth.

"This is going to be hard."

And then follow it with:

"Here's how we're going to support you."

If workflows are going to change significantly, say so.

If responsibilities are going to be different, say so.

If people are going to struggle initially, acknowledge it.

We don't have to minimize the difficulty.

We have to help people navigate it.

Communication is probably the most important ingredient in any change initiative.

And I think two words matter more than almost anything else:

Direct and frequent.

People can handle difficult information much better than they can handle uncertainty, silence, and mixed messages.

We can also create problems without realizing it through the questions we ask.

Imagine walking into a team meeting and asking:

"Things are going pretty well, right?"

It's technically a question.

But is it really?

We've already told them what answer we want.

Instead, try:

"How is this going for you?"

Or:

"What's working?"

"What's not working?"

"What are we missing?"

"What concerns haven't we addressed?"

These questions create space for something much more valuable than agreement.

They create space for truth.

But asking the question isn't enough.

We have to actually listen to the answer.

This is where skills like motivational interviewing can be incredibly useful.

Reflect what you heard.

Affirm the person's experience.

Summarize their concerns.

Ask another question.

And most importantly, resist the urge to immediately defend the decision or explain why they're wrong.

People don't always need to get the answer they want.

But they do need to know they've been heard.

That distinction can make an enormous difference in how people engage with change.

There's another part of change that I think leaders sometimes overlook.

You have to know when to let go.

Early in a change initiative, leaders may need to push hard.

There is inertia.

People are uncertain.

Old habits are powerful.

So we create momentum.

But once the flywheel starts turning, something important happens.

We need to take our hands off the wheel.

Not completely.

We still inspect.

We still provide feedback.

We still hold people accountable.

But we allow the people actually experiencing the change to begin owning it.

When early successes occur, celebrate them.

Show people how those small wins connect to the bigger picture.

Let them experience what it feels like to succeed.

Then give them some room.

They may make mistakes.

That's okay.

They may discover a better way to do something than the one we originally designed.

That's okay too.

Because ultimately, if the change only works when the leader is pushing it forward, has the organization really changed?

Leading change requires more than a good plan.

It requires presence.

Curiosity.

Clear communication.

The ability to have difficult conversations.

The willingness to listen without becoming defensive.

And the discipline to know when to lead from the front and when to get out of the way.

There are plenty of tools that can help us develop those skills—situational leadership, radical candor, crucial conversations, motivational interviewing, and others.

But none of them replace the most important skill of all:

Being willing to see the change through the eyes of the people experiencing it.

I wonder what would happen if, instead of asking,

"How do I get my people to embrace this change?"

we asked:

"What do my people need from me to successfully navigate this change?"

That small shift in perspective may be one of the most important changes a leader can make.